Mid-life stalemate!
Know I am there...at the turning point...to do value-addition. Contribution to self, barring a few more, is done! Need to start a new journey is in the offing...got to...!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Transformed Horse Power & Brain Power.
Having an extension of abilities - how does it matter? Matter it will, for a purpose. If not, why do I want it? Is ignorance a safe option? Am I missing something?
OK, I have the time and energy...so I indulge...to master what is being offerred. Having done that, is there more to be learnt? Yes, so I tread on further...to discover and learn more...becoming aware of the infinite journeys through the trivialities.
Now, I call it quits! I do not want to learn anymore. I want to remain stagnant, still - forever! But isn't 'Constancy itself unnatural' ? How do I not become ignorant and how do I stop from being indulgent?
1999..."Spartagus was an extension of it's abilities (gentlemanly, stubborn, proud and dedicated), unto me!" - I realized and revelled in my new-found passion. Just when I wanted more, there was a phase-drift between reality and desire. There I was ...having experienced a latent potential but yanked out of the continuity...leaving the desire lingering on...to be fulfilled when I can, but not really with the same zeal. Why the pinch of taste? Was there really a purpose to it? Do I want to find out...
1996...The dream was sown into my fertile mind...watered with awe and respect! Only to be pushed back down the memory lane.
2008...The reality stands in front me. The presence has a 'deja vu' to it, but am not really focussed, wandering actually. They say - Doubt what you desire lest it will be fulfilled, but at a cost/sacrifice! So, currently I do not want to get to lock-on, maybe override the wave...but why the hell was the seed sown, in the first place itself, back then? Ok, maybe I appreciated it, but do I need to waste my time & energy to manage my likings now? Should I stop appreciating any thing at all to avoid the payback T&C in the future? Is that how I nip the bud? Hey G-Dude, Why was I even born human?
Another option is to indulge...justify my desire and live it up...only to gratify myself...with no useful purpose involved.
What do I learn from being like a virus?
OK, I have the time and energy...so I indulge...to master what is being offerred. Having done that, is there more to be learnt? Yes, so I tread on further...to discover and learn more...becoming aware of the infinite journeys through the trivialities.
Now, I call it quits! I do not want to learn anymore. I want to remain stagnant, still - forever! But isn't 'Constancy itself unnatural' ? How do I not become ignorant and how do I stop from being indulgent?
1999..."Spartagus was an extension of it's abilities (gentlemanly, stubborn, proud and dedicated), unto me!" - I realized and revelled in my new-found passion. Just when I wanted more, there was a phase-drift between reality and desire. There I was ...having experienced a latent potential but yanked out of the continuity...leaving the desire lingering on...to be fulfilled when I can, but not really with the same zeal. Why the pinch of taste? Was there really a purpose to it? Do I want to find out...
1996...The dream was sown into my fertile mind...watered with awe and respect! Only to be pushed back down the memory lane.
2008...The reality stands in front me. The presence has a 'deja vu' to it, but am not really focussed, wandering actually. They say - Doubt what you desire lest it will be fulfilled, but at a cost/sacrifice! So, currently I do not want to get to lock-on, maybe override the wave...but why the hell was the seed sown, in the first place itself, back then? Ok, maybe I appreciated it, but do I need to waste my time & energy to manage my likings now? Should I stop appreciating any thing at all to avoid the payback T&C in the future? Is that how I nip the bud? Hey G-Dude, Why was I even born human?
Another option is to indulge...justify my desire and live it up...only to gratify myself...with no useful purpose involved.
What do I learn from being like a virus?
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The information is always there...waiting to be comprehended/discovered...subdued by noises of all sorts. Just when you are struggling to break away, free, from the trappings of survival and existence, trying to salvage your spirit, there are openings...to be experienced out of choice or serendipity. Out of choice, this expertise comes with concentrated practice and self-restraint and you are already on the path of enlightenment, but the other 'bail-out' method delivers through hit & trial, entitlement achieved through grace, after slogging it off, in the darkness -to the extent of having one ultimate peak in one's lifetime and that being the jist of that lifetime ( flashing thro' a lifetime).
My arguement is if the awareness is there, what stops one from upgradation...why time a few 100 years to realize just that...disappointingly frustrating! On the other hand, awareness should be followed up with actualization and then conclusive realization!!!
A 1000 activities to be done and if done leaving the correct extract imprinted into the DNA, wouldn't that be the prefect way of doing it...rich and yet soul-liberating...
How does one achieve that?...and why not?? and what would it take...really, what would it take???
Love to get engaged...in such indulgence...blind to the trappings...high on the elevation process!
My arguement is if the awareness is there, what stops one from upgradation...why time a few 100 years to realize just that...disappointingly frustrating! On the other hand, awareness should be followed up with actualization and then conclusive realization!!!
A 1000 activities to be done and if done leaving the correct extract imprinted into the DNA, wouldn't that be the prefect way of doing it...rich and yet soul-liberating...
How does one achieve that?...and why not?? and what would it take...really, what would it take???
Love to get engaged...in such indulgence...blind to the trappings...high on the elevation process!
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